In Pakistan and India, ‘expectations for marriage’ is a tricky subject to talk about. Not so long ago, women didn’t have the authority to discuss their wishes for marriage. Because the elders would usually arrange a groom for the girl.
As the world advances, the dynamics change. Now, the girls get higher education and groom themselves. Moreover, they are more confident to take the reins of their lives into their own hands.
People don’t consider it a taboo point if a girl talks about her marriage and the kind of man she wants to be with. Well, it does not provoke the Haww-Hayee’s by ever-so-poking aunties.
Psychologists have been researching to find out the basic things a woman looks for in a guy, the things that she thinks should be in her life partner.
Table of Contents
Best Things in Men That a Woman Looks For
Chemistry
Chemistry is important in expectations for marriage. The larkay walay always wants a beautiful girl for their son. In the same way, women also want a good-looking husband.
They don’t want people to whisper ‘Hoor ke Pehloo mein Langoor’.
The chemistry should be stunning. The couple should stand out. Well, it always feels good to see the admiration in people’s eyes.
Marriage changes people, especially men. They tend to ignore their health and self-care. As a result, they get fat and bald. A protruding belly is most common in married guys. The women do not like such men. They also don’t like bad habits the men usually acquire e.g. smoking, bad dressing sense, swearing, etc.
Stability
Stability is one of the foremost expectations for marriage. Being stable means having a good job with a good salary. A guy’s stability is very important. Girls don’t want to be with such a man, who isn’t very hard-working. They straightaway refuse a guy with a menial job and instability.
Girls look for stability in three ways: emotionally, economically, and relationally.
It’s rare to find such stability in a man when it comes to men in Pakistan. But there is always hope.
Intelligence & Broad-mindedness
The woman prefers a man with good brains. Intelligence always looks so attractive.
Moreover, the broad mind is an additional factor. It gets really hard to live with a narrow-minded man. A man who tends to doubt a woman’s every move.
Shakki-Mizaaj men are an instant turn-off.
Helper with Household Chores
Gone are those times when men used to idly sit around, while the wife hurried to complete household chores, cook food, looking after the kids at the same time.
Now, it’s not the case. Women no longer want such men. They prefer a kind, empathetic man, who never hesitates to help his wife with chores. Furthermore, he must not be afraid of going into the kitchen and cooking for his partner and kids.
Protectiveness
All women like a guy who is protective in nature. It also comes in handy when they sort out their expectations for marriage. They want to be with someone with whom they feel protected and safe at all times. A guy who can stand up for their honor.
This also points towards a man keeping a balance between his wife and his family. However, when it comes to choosing between his wife and his mother/sisters, a man usually feels lost in this mess.
The women also do not like a man who can’t keep a balance in his relationships. Susral politics can lead to mental health issues.
Acceptance
A man should have acceptance in his nature. A woman doesn’t like a man, who tries to change every way of her lifestyle. She likes a man who isn’t assessing her all the time and trying to upgrade her, e.g. her appearance, her social circle, the way she dresses, who she can talk to/who she can’t.
Equality
There has always existed a cultural disparity in Pakistan and the subcontinent, where women are considered as ‘mard ke paer ki Jooti’.
Women are considered subordinates, while men their masters. The women are made to feel less, and silenced in every matter, ‘Tum Aurat ho, Tumhain kyaa Pta?’
Women don’t want to go through inequality anymore.
They want an equal relationship with their partners. Women want to be involved in the decisions which affect their marital lives. They want their husbands to treat them equally and with respect.
Moral Integrity
Mutual respect goes both ways. Dr. Muhammad Imran Sharif, a renowned Psychiatrist, says it’s an all-or-none principle. Once a man loses his respect in a woman’s eyes, it’s gone forever.
Women want a man who has several traits of moral integrity e.g. open communication, honesty, trust, taking responsibility, friendship and emotional maturity, etc.
These are some of the things that have been identified by Psychologists. Marriage is essentially a joyful experience. Getting to know the real person takes time. It’s too soon to say what a man turns out to be in the future. But, a girl hopes for the best.
Relationship and marriage counseling is effective to sort out couples’ problems.
If you are going through such a phase, it’s best to approach a marriage counselor. You can contact the best psychologists in Lahore via Healthwire.pk, or you can call (042) 32500989.
