Have you seen a child, crying a lot, while his parents are dropping him off at school? Or an adult who gets fearful every time he gets a call from a loved one at an unusual hour? I am not ashamed to admit that I feel this fear as well. This is ‘Separation Anxiety’.
This is not a thing to be shy about. It’s a medical concern. If you get worried and fearful about getting separated from your parents or losing a loved one, if this worry leaves you feeling numb, you may have Separation Anxiety.
Let’s dig deeper into why this anxiety happens, and how you can overcome it.
Table of Contents
What is Separation Anxiety?
Separation Anxiety is a psychological illness. It is an extreme fear of getting separated from a loved one. You can see this in toddlers and infants as well as in adults. It is normal for infants to feel separation anxiety. They outgrow this anxiety by the time they turn 3 years.
Sometimes, when the kids get to preschool level, this anxiety gets more serious and extreme. This condition is called ‘Separation Anxiety Disorder’.
Your child’s anxiety may seem abnormal when he refuses to go to school every day. His crying spells may get intense when you are getting near the school. And as soon as you pick him up, he will be all better. This is a classic sign of Separation Anxiety.
Separation Anxiety in adults seems strange, but it happens in adults, where they get anxious about relationships and attachments. You may find it hard to leave home for work. This causes problems in life.
Which Events Trigger Separation Anxiety?
Research shows that most of the time, Separation Anxiety is in your genes. You can get it from a parent who is more prone to mental health disturbances. It also gets triggered due to environmental effects e.g. losing a parent makes one more anxious about the other parent. Sometimes, losing a pet also kicks your this anxiety.
How to Know If You Have Separation Anxiety?
It is different from Social Anxiety, as it is solely a fear of separation. Let’s talk about how it actually feels like having this anxiety. It is like general anxiety, but it doesn’t feel age-appropriate. Sometimes, you will find a big child clinging to the parents, refusing to let go. Other times, an adult can surprise you by getting anxious at the idea of leaving home.
It is much more serious when it comes to the symptoms.
Distress about Loved Ones
Separation Anxiety makes you feel constant worry and distress about your loved ones, especially your parents. You feel something bad will happen to them, if you are away. The thought of their loss haunts you all the time. Your fear of being alone reaches an all-time high. You want to be with your loved ones every second of every day.
If you are like me, you will recite and blow ‘Ayat-al-Kursi’ on them again and again.
Refusing to Leave Home
You refuse to leave home., and don’t care if it is creating troubles for your school or work life. You think constantly that if you leave home, something will happen to your mother. Moreover, you may find yourself checking her ‘last seen’ on WhatsApp again and again. If she doesn’t pick up your call, you get panicked.
It really is a very disturbing thing.
Nightmares
Separation Anxiety doesn’t even leave you in your sleep. You get nightmares and may awaken screaming. The nightmares are usually about separation from the loved ones.
Fear of Sleeping in Strange Places
A person with anxiety finds it hard to sleep in a strange place other than the comfort of home.
Remember, how in childhood we used to do sleepovers at our friends’ houses? Well, the people with separation anxiety find it hard to do that. They have a fear of sleeping in any bed other than their own.
Physical Symptoms
SThis anxiety manifests some physical symptoms as well. You may get a headache or even stomach ache when you feel like getting separated from your parents is necessary due to work or other obligations.
Are You At High Risk for Separation Anxiety?
If you have a family history of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, you might be at high risk for getting Separation Anxiety Disorder whenever a trigger happens. Other risk factors include:
- Being a female
- Childhood Trauma; history of abuse
- Death of a family member at a young age
When You Should See A Doctor?
Separation Anxiety doesn’t go away on its own. You need to seek help from a doctor when you feel like it is interfering too much with your everyday life. If it’s your child, his studies will be getting disturbed. It makes a child lose focus completely. So, it is essential to get professional help.
What Treatment Options Do You Have for Separation Anxiety?
As this is a psychological illness, it is usually treated through psychotherapy. Medications are used in extreme cases. Some of the treatment options are:
Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT)
CBT targets the negative thoughts and behaviors of a person with Separation Anxiety. These negative thoughts make the anxiety worse e.g. ‘Baba Call Pick nahe kar rahy, zaroor kuch bura ho gaya hoga’.
The psychologist will help you get rid of negative thoughts and develop a more positive approach toward such situations.
If you are a parent, you will get counseled about different parenting techniques to reduce your child’s Separation Anxiety.
Anti-Anxiety Medication
If your anxiety is not reducing, anti-anxiety medications are prescribed. These medications target the areas of the brain which get under extreme stress and calm them.
Support Groups
You can also seek help by joining a support group. In a support group, people share their experiences and relate to one another. It can also help you in learning different techniques for reducing this anxiety.
Conclusion
Having Separation Anxiety is a matter of concern. Dealing with it is even more crucial because it is a bad influence on your mental, physical, and social health. Worries about separating from loved ones get so intense that the world feels like it is ending. If you have symptoms of Separation Anxiety, you should immediately get yourself help. You can book an appointment with the Best Psychologists in Lahore via Healthwire.pk or you can call (042) 32500989.
