Childhood sexual abuse is the worst nightmare for any child.
In Pakistan, many cases of childhood abuse occur every day. The sad thing is, these cases come to light very rarely. Because it is a taboo topic, that is sushed in case an incident happens. The family thinks only one thing ‘Log Kya Kahain Gey?’
Child sexual abuse can be denoted as an act by a perpetrator, resulting in sexual harassment, and abuse, often leading to a completed act. This is the exploitation of a child, who is too young to understand what is happening.
Table of Contents
Types of Sexual Abuse!
Do you know that child sexual abuse occurs in many forms and at many levels?
There are two main forms of child abuse:
- Abuse with physical contact (this includes touching, hugging, and molestation).
- Abuse without physical contact (involves sexual comments, verbal sexual abuse, exhibiting one’s genitals in front of a minor, masturbation).
Prevalence of Sexual Abuse in Pakistan
Pakistan is 5th on the list of countries, where children get subjected to extreme violence, lawlessness, and fundamental rights.
In a country like Pakistan, where sexuality is repressed, and talking about it is forbidden, such cases are very rarely brought to light.
Although, the trend is gradually changing. Many people are coming forward, as child abuse cases are increasing. In 2020, almost 4 percent more cases were reported than in 2019. The year 2021 was even worse, as the cases increased even more. Almost 10 children were subjected to sexual exploitation every day.
These numbers are alarming. Abuse is more prevalent among child laborers in Pakistan. It refers to the societal inability and failure to provide a safe environment for our children to grow.
Why Sexual Abuse is so Rampant in Pakistan?
Sexual abuse remains unchecked and growing rapidly in Pakistan, because of various factors. Due to many traditional and cultural values protected at any cost, the children have to bear the brunt of an individual’s animalistic urges, who roams scot-free. It could be due to:
- Poverty, child labor, no access to education
- Lawlessness, injustice, inflation
Symptoms of Abuse
There are definite signs and symptoms of child sexual abuse; behavioral and physical. So, it is extremely pertinent for the parents to know if their child has gone through trauma.
Some of the most common signs are:
- Avoidance of physical contact
- Runs away when anyone approaches
- Bleeding /bruising of genitals
- Blood on clothes
- Frequent bathing
- Burning sensations in the genitals
- Pain complaints
- Clear signs of depression
- Crying spells
- Trouble in walking/sitting
- Indulging in self-harm behaviors
Impacts of Child Sexual Abuse
Child sexual abuse takes its toll on a child in different ways.
Physical
A grown-up forcing himself on a minor clearly results in physical trauma. The child can have physical injuries and even sexually transmitted diseases.
The trauma becomes even more painful, as the injuries serve as constant reminders of the horrific time.
Psychological
The psychological impacts of sexual abuse are far worse. A child tries to bury the trauma deep in the mind and tries not to recall it. This is a psychological defense, Dissociation!
In most cases, when a person can’t recall childhood memories, it is almost always an indicator of past exposure to a traumatic experience. Childhood abuse leads to the early onset of depression, low self-esteem, anxiety and post-traumatic stress disorder, etc.
Social & Behavioral
The social stigmas associated with abuse make a child stay silent. Even If a parent knows, they try to keep it a secret as well. Moreover, if it’s a girl, their concern would always be ‘Is se shadi kon karay ga?’
The boys who undergo this trauma, usually manifest behavioral problems when they grow up. These problems may include drug use (mostly alcohol), impaired relationships, sex addiction, and a range of sexual relationships.
Treatments for Child Abuse
Although it’s a taboo topic in Pakistan, parents should stay aware of their children, and should immediately seek treatment in case an incident happens.
This is very important for saving a child from the long-term effects of a traumatic event. Here are some of the common psychological treatments that are fairly helpful in this regard.
Psychotherapy
Different forms of psychotherapies are available for different age groups. A mental health professional can guide better.
- Trauma-focused Cognitive Behavioral Therapy: This is a form of therapy for children, who are survivors of any form of abuse. It has been found effective in treating and reducing the symptoms of anxiety, depression, and PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder).
- Cognitive Behavioral Therapy: This type of psychotherapy is effective for children, adolescents, and adults equally. It addresses any negative thoughts or feelings related to abuse or undesirable behaviors.
Medication
Medication is recommended by the therapist if the need arises. The medications which are used, attempt to lessen the symptoms of anxiety and depression, along with PTSD. Generally, these medications are Antidepressants and anti-anxiety.
Preventing Sexual Abuse: Teaching Children ‘Good Touch, Bad Touch’
The parents need to know their responsibilities fully as sexual abuse is quite preventable!
In this fast-paced world of today, it is impertinent for parents to teach their children about ‘good touch, bad touch’ among all other things. Shyness and stigma aside, it is very important for your child’s growth, to lead a happy and healthy life.
Prompts to Use
For little children, certain prompts can make them understand these complex things. These can be:
- Flash Cards with Cartoons
- Colored Pictures
- Worksheets
Things to Follow While Teaching ‘Good Touch, Bad Touch’
I know this is a very tough subject to talk about but Remember! It all boils down to the child’s safety.
Names of Body Parts
That’s the thing with children, that they can’t identify the sexual abuse because they don’t know much about their bodies. Learning about it can make them understand that it is okay to talk about these things.
Moreover, parents should teach their children the correct names of all of their body parts, including the private parts. It can be taught like this, the body parts which are always covered, are most important to protect.
Ownership of the Child’s Body
It’s okay for mama to touch the baby while bathing, or changing the clothes.
It is okay for Baba to hug and kiss. It is okay for Dada, Dadi, Nana & Nani to kiss the child and make him sit on their laps.
But not for strangers!
According to the top-reviewed psychologist in Islamabad Ms. Ayesha Umer, “The child must know he/she is the owner of his/her body. Only the child can have control over who can touch it, and who can’t. If the child does not wish to, the parents should never make him hug any relative, or receive kisses. “
Kinds of Touches
Teach the child that there are three kinds of touches.
- Safe Touch: These are the warm touches that feel safe. They make children feel protected and happy. Safe touches include: hugging, patting on the back, arm around the shoulder, sitting on the laps
- Unsafe Touch: These are the kind of touches that make children feel unsafe. They hurt their feelings and their bodies, e.g. hitting with a thing, pushing on the ground, kicking with boots, and pinching.
- Unwanted Touch: These are the touches that might feel okay to everyone, but if the child isn’t feeling comfortable, and is annoyed with the touch, then it is an unwanted touch, e.g. some familiar person/relative trying to touch the child sensually, making inappropriate eye-contact and gestures, trying to get alone with the child, trying to make him/her sit in the lap, awkward hugs and kisses.
Tell the children to say ‘no’ if anyone attempts to do any such thing.
Conclusion
Every child deserves to live a happy life.
If something happens to the child, if an incident of abuse occurs, don’t ever make the child feel like an outcast. He doesn’t need a constant reminder of the abuse he suffered.
Sexual abuse at any age is a painful experience. Sexual abuse trauma can be turned into going for new experiences and new hobbies. After all, life is for everyone, and nobody can snatch this right from a child.
If your child has a history of sexual abuse or showing any behavioral and physical symptoms, you should immediately contact a Psychotherapist. You can consult the best Psychologist in Lahore via Healthwire.pk or call at (042) 32500989.
