Children are innocent and they learn what they see. So if you think you can force them to learn then you’ll highly damage their personality and mental health. In fact, they would learn more by what they see instead of what they are being taught.
Children are born needy and helpless as obviously, they don’t get to choose their parents so the fate of their upbringing and mental growth is solely at the hands of their parents and family.
I have observed that parents are always full of love for their children and want the best for them. Parents just want their child to be happy, healthy and lead successful lives. It is as simple as that. So, if I sum up what parents want for their children, it narrows down to these three aforementioned things that parents want for their children.
However, at times no matter what parents wish for their children, there would be a time that children have to overcome problems on their own.
Without a doubt, I can clearly say that parents always want the best for their children and their heart is always towards their children. But, this intention of parents can be overshadowed by their actions. Children have their own thought process and parents have their own. With time, each generation and children evolve intellectually depending upon their surroundings.
Healthy Habits for Kids & Things Your Children Need For Their Nourishment
I had been continuously researching the healthy habits for kids or just what children actually need for their personality development and from their parents. And what children want from their parents come down to these 10 points.
So, let’s get started!
Yes, the first and foremost thing that children want is attention. In fact, everyone loves being the centre of attention. However, in the case of children, parents need to be more careful as there is a fine line between “bad intention” and “good intention”. Attention on children basically acts as a reinforcement and so the children get to learn from that.
Now let’s have an example if parents keep saying the sentences such as “Don’t hit your sister” or “Don’t play with your food” then automatically the child’s mind will work in the negation of this. And this would be negative behaviour.
Parents should avoid this and instead appreciate the kid such as “Thank you for playing quietly while I was sleeping or You did a great job, I am proud of you, or Your drawing looks great” etc. These things will help the child more than the former ones.
2. Physical Touch
We all might have noticed that parents like to hug their children more when they are young but as they start growing up this action almost disappear and it is only limited to just shake hand.
Physical touch or hug is needed for the confidence of the children. It not only boost the confidence in children but helps with their self-image as well. So, don’t shy from hugging your children.
3. Unconditional Love
Yes, your kids do need affirmation of love from you. They need it unconditionally from you. If you put obligations or set of rules for love from you then it’ll harm their self-growth. You need to love them unconditionally even if they fail a test or didn’t meet your expectations or when they disagree with you or even if they are struggling. Remember, kids are not you, they have their own mind which develops from the surrounding they live in.
4. Role Models
Parents are the first role models of their children. They have a special “neuro-mirroring” in their brain so what you do they look up to you and learn from you. So, your feelings, thoughts and overall behaviour have an impact on your child.
Children are your mirror in terms of action so make sure to be a good role model for them as it will have a long-lasting effect on them.
Boundaries for the children are not just for their discipline but rather it is a ‘safe place’ for the children. For they would really feel secure by this and function actively. Considering the current times, the boundaries would help them with their health, safety, happiness and won’t have a negative impact on them.
Let’s just say if you say to your kid that we should drink water as it keeps us healthy would be a positive boundary. However, if you say to your kid that I’ll be upset if you drink soft drink, this would have a negative impact on them.
It is needed in any relationship and the same is the case in parent-child relation. If you have set a boundary you need to stick with it because this will give confidence to your children in this regard. If we are confident then it will give confidence to our kids.
Your kids will show more confidence and trust in you if you are strong and consistent.
Consistency is not being aggressive, stubborn or controlling rather it is your confidence and you being strong in your values, abilities and choices.
Let’s say if your kid doesn’t like vegetables don’t get angry or lose temper instead be consistent and put that in their plate. Your calmness and consistency would work.
Even if you are setting boundaries and values for your children, they need to feel the affirmation of their freedom. The boundaries shouldn’t mean that they are restricted. If you do that, you are hindering them in exploring the world and their growth. If you are overprotective, you’ll only be programming their mind that the world is nothing but a scary place.
Your child needs freedom without you feeling anxious over them, as it is a key ingredient for healthy habits for kids. Indeed, parents are concerned about their children’s safety but this doesn’t mean your kid shouldn’t play in the playground, they need to be with their age fellows as they have their own mind. They want the freedom to do anything without being judged by their parents.
Children need this learning from you. It is different from teaching as learning is receiving while teaching is giving. So, from the children’s perspective, it is not important what they get but rather what they decide to take from their parents. They are not you, they are an individual and they need to be raised just like that without a validation.
8. Kids Need Affirmation That They Are Special
Yes, this is one of the essential ingredients for their healthy growth. If your child has a sibling, never make him/her feel that he/she is just like any other child. Rather, make them feel they are special.
Help them find their interest and uniqueness so that they are able to nurture them. You need to make them feel that “they are special and that they are enough”. If you do not make them feel this then they would be struggling in their teens.
We all are social animal and we cannot live without a companion. For this very reason, your children too, need friends. As they need to learn and evolve, they need to be in a kid’s company. So, help them in social skills so that they make good friends.
Don’t think that their friends will take them away from you. If you are your child’s friends first then you would understand that how your trust in them shape their personality.
10. Children Need to Express Themselves
Last, but not least, it is one of the common problems in our society. Most of the problems arise due to a lack of communication and self-expression. Children need this affirmation from you to be it you have a baby girl or baby boy.
At times, when their baby boy cries, parents would go on saying boys don’t cry and in the case of a baby girl, if she like sports instead of playing with dolls don’t say it’s for boys. By doing this, you are conditioning them and they would lock themselves in a cocoon and by this, they will grow up with low self-esteem and discomfort.
If you don’t allow them to express themselves, with time they will lock all of their feelings inside and will suffer from dysfunctional behaviour which will ruin their life.
In The End,
Now, parents, you know your child better than anybody else, so you need to be kind to your kids and to yourself. You also need to carefully analyze the whole 10 points that I have shared. If you feel, that as a child you didn’t get all of it then it’s your turn to give it to your child.
But, you don’t have to be angry with your parents. You need to forgive them as they were a different generation. They didn’t get to learn what you are learning so you can end this cycle. Your parents might even have it way worse than you.
So, now it’s in your hand. You can change it. If you do and follow the above steps with the time you’ll notice the change in your children’s behaviour. You will be surely happy to see them growing up healthy and happy. For more tips reach out to the certified pediatricians via healthwire.pk.